Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
