I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm both gender and math confused
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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