I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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