Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
