the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize