why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
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