I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize