im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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