i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize