I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
