i need an iv and a liver transplant
Its about making memories worth repressing
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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