And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
