I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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