So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
