Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
