Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
