All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
