I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
