i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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