new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
