Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
