You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
