I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
