Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
