I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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