She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
