A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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