That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
