Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
