Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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