wakey wakey hands off snakey
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I don't deserve a penis
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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