Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
