why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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