Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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