he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
