So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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