why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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