I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i would one night stand the shit outta him
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
