Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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