walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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