DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
