I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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