dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
