just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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