Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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