Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
