OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
