in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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