Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
