You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
