dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
