Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
