I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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