I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
