Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize