If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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