ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
