how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
