Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
