He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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