HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
No...this little piggys going to the bar
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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