well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
