i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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